So painful yet so pleasureful

This love hurts so much yet feels so good.

It hurts to feel hurt, but if feels good to hear your heart beating at night as you lay next to me. I hope it gets better.

What Happens when you neglect a blog

What happens when you neglect a blog? You’re life flashes past you, and you have nothing to look back on because you forgot to write about it.

Things have been well and somewhat terrible. I never knew how you can meet someone and make them the love of your life in 6 months, but it’s possible.

I know he’s the love of my life.

 

This love is so fucking painful. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost scared of him. He makes me shiver, I’m afraid of him. But I don’t want to show. He’s so intimidating. He has a bizarre creature in him that could tear me apart into shreds.

He has no heart sometimes, and I am so naïve that I don’t know what I’ve done. I don’t care what I’ve done to make him this way, all I know is I want him to be happy. If being happy is being without me, let that be. I cannot see this pain any longer. This will be the death of me… this relationship, that I don’t know what’s happening to it but all I want is for it to work, I don’t think that’s mutual maybe? is it? who knows. Who knows. What knows. I don’t know what’s going on, but god please, make this better.

I see... Me.

I see me,
I see myself and everything I can make of myself.
A push, a drive, a reason to thrive. I dig deep down inside sometimes and say to myself, " why am I doing this ". Why do I want to make someone of myself. Why do I have to go to college ?"

I have to go to college because I am the only one that can. My brothers didn't have it in them to make someone of themselves, so I have to. I need to.

I think moving away from all the chaos is going to be good for me. Worry free, hearing no one complain for once.

My parents are divorced and all they do is complain about each other. I'm sick of that! I was away this weekend at the apartment and it was just so peaceful, in 2 days my face even cleared up! Funny I think.

Sent via BlackBerry

:(

 

 

Home for now, extremely

drought of affection. Truly wish I could be hugging right now but I am at home, in my town. a few many miles away.

Hello.

I got a new haircut.

hum

To be demanding isn’t all bad, but there are many ways in which it can be unloving.  It is one thing to be persistent in asking or requiring something, but excessively demanding one’s own way regardless of others’ rights or how they are treated indicates self-centeredness.  Overly demanding people are not concerned with what others want because they are mostly concerned with themselves.  And they can be very insensitive and uncaring when it comes to getting what they want.  Demanding people are often forceful in trying to get their way.  They might use manipulation, threats, or any other means to get what they want.

There is a controlling aspect in being overly demanding that actually leads to a lack of control.  So the less control a demanding person feels in a situation or over someone, the more demanding they may become.  Most people do not like to feel controlled or dominated.  There is an old saying, “If you love something, set it free.  If it comes back, it’s yours.  If it doesn’t, it never was.”   Love requires that we give people freedom to be themselves, without any restrictions imposed upon them to meet our demands in our way.

Demanding people feel entitled to what they believe are their rights.  They have certain expectations of people and they disregard their boundaries if they are in their way.  They have a difficult time taking “no” for an answer because the goal is to get what they want.  As you can imagine, most people are not comfortable being around a person who is overly demanding. Their selfishness communicates a total disregard for the needs and desires of others.  It is the opposite of love which is selfless and giving.

To be truly selfless is to enjoy giving others first place.  Rather than demanding your own ways, you can demonstrate love for someone by putting their needs above your own.  To be selfless is to put yourself aside and help them to get ahead.  It is to find true contentment and joy in considering what is in the best interest of someone else other than yourself.  It is to seek their good.  Selflessness also doesn’t impose its own expectations and desires on someone else.  It allows people the freedom to make their own choices.  Selflessness respects others’ decisions and loves them regardless of whether or not you agree.  When selfless, you treat people properly and respect their boundaries.  Selflessness is the essence of love.  You cannot have love without selflessness.

My Love

My love is so powerful,

And I hope no one ever ruins my love, I see people are amazingly strong lovers in their first few relationships until they get their heart broken. I don’t want that to happen to me. I want to always love like this, because eventually there will be someone who deserves this love(There currently IS that deserving person[SV<3}.

When I love, i see no one else. I’m complete. I need no one to make me happier then the ever so uplifting smile of my love. It’ crazy. I love like a fool. I fall like a rock and leave myself so vulnerable. Vulnerable to be heart broken. It’s like I throw myself in the middle of the world busiest highway just for the chance of forever. Forever to be with you.

  And then I say to myself, so what if my heart get broken, right now this feels good. And I love you. This feels so good I don’t mind taking the chance. and i refuse to think anything other then positivity about you. I’m positive you’re the one

<3 you’re so beautiful

11111