So painful yet so pleasureful

This love hurts so much yet feels so good.

It hurts to feel hurt, but if feels good to hear your heart beating at night as you lay next to me. I hope it gets better.

What Happens when you neglect a blog

What happens when you neglect a blog? You’re life flashes past you, and you have nothing to look back on because you forgot to write about it.

Things have been well and somewhat terrible. I never knew how you can meet someone and make them the love of your life in 6 months, but it’s possible.

I know he’s the love of my life.

 

This love is so fucking painful. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost scared of him. He makes me shiver, I’m afraid of him. But I don’t want to show. He’s so intimidating. He has a bizarre creature in him that could tear me apart into shreds.

He has no heart sometimes, and I am so naïve that I don’t know what I’ve done. I don’t care what I’ve done to make him this way, all I know is I want him to be happy. If being happy is being without me, let that be. I cannot see this pain any longer. This will be the death of me… this relationship, that I don’t know what’s happening to it but all I want is for it to work, I don’t think that’s mutual maybe? is it? who knows. Who knows. What knows. I don’t know what’s going on, but god please, make this better.